Do you want to be made whole?
"...sometimes God sends a psychologist."
Photo by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash
Seems obvious, right? That achieving mental liberation is not a one-size-fits-all journey.
We all have different thresholds of endurance born out of our experiences and our circumstances. Some women may need higher levels of intervention than others. Hey, that’s unapologetically me. But that doesn’t mean something is wrong with me, or her, or anyone else, or that we are weak. Add to that the exposure to racism and discrimination that increases the everyday stressors that Black women deal with. We have a bees’ nest of things that can negatively affect our mental stability in a way that it doesn’t for non-blacks.
What’s more, we often have trouble noticing that we are hurting. We are so accustomed to operating at a high level of stress and anxiety or sitting with lingering depression that our suffering seems normal.
I’m here to tell you, sis, you deserve more. You deserve freedom.
The first step we can take together is to educate ourselves on recognizing when we are not operating at peak mental health. In The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health, Dr. Rheeda Walker gives us the tools to understand psychological conditions and shows us how to get the help we need. As Black women, there are several barriers, such as social stigmas, stereotypes, financial burdens, and an inability to find a culturally sensitive therapist that hinders us from seeking and getting the level of care that is required to address our unique concerns.
I genuinely believe this book, in its entirety, is a required read. Still, I want to highlight one specific hurdle that she discusses in the book, our faith.
Off to church we go when the road gets a little bumpy.
According to a Pew Report, “More than eight-in-ten black women (84%) say religion is very important to them, and roughly six-in-ten (59%) say they attend religious services at least once a week.” It goes on to say that “No group of men or women from any other racial or ethnic background exhibits comparably high levels of religious observance.”
We love us some Jesus.
When we find ourselves facing down a crisis, it’s the church that we turn to. We put our names on the prayer roll, get to church early to fall out on the altar, schedule an appointment with our pastor. And yes, this is all good. But what do we do when we are experiencing emotional problems or suicidal thoughts after we’ve tried all of this? When we’ve prayed and fasted, and we’re still struggling?
The way we live our faith can create a barrier to getting the help we need.
Dr. Walker discusses this “passive overreliance” that we have on the church, where we show up Sunday after Sunday wanting to believe something will change, but we aren’t doing anything to take hold of our healing.
We go to church to change. We don’t need church to feel better but otherwise remain the same – same thoughts, same behavior, and same outcome. Something about how you think and what you do needs to fundamentally change as a result of your Sunday and Wednesday night participation.
Dr. Rheeda Walker
In other words, we are showing up, taking in the Word of God, and yet not believing what He says. We’re not applying His truth to our lives. We say that God is a healer, but we’re quick to reject His provision for our healing.
She calls us out like that best girlfriend when she points to how many of us believe that we don’t need to seek professional psychological help, yet we wouldn’t hesitate to see a doctor for a physical concern. We’ll see a doctor for chest pains, broken limbs, wounds, but when something is going on with us mentally, we opt for the DIY cure and decide to pray it away. And Dr. Walker and I stand in agreement when we say prayer works. Just know that you may go to the Lord in prayer for your mind, hoping the pain will go away, “but sometimes God sends a psychologist.”
There’s hope when a faithful mind goes astray.
When you go to church, why not pray for faith that God will give you guidance for what you need to do?
Dr. Rheeda Walker
In The Guide, while Dr. Walker stresses the necessity of seeking therapeutic interventions, if you need to, she gives immensely practical advice on ways to fortify your mind spiritually when you are fighting moment by moment for your sanity. A few that you can put into action right now are:
Creating a playlist of your favorite gospel songs to bring you back to where you need to be. Check out the playlist I created for this post in Spotify, “All Is Well with My Soul.”
When you take notes at church, organize them topically instead of chronologically so that they are easier to reference when you need to return to them.
Make a list of Scriptures for when you’re dealing with loneliness, anxiety, or depression that you can meditate on until they are written on your heart.
One of the things that intrigues me about Bible scriptures is how well they line up with psychological interventions.
Dr. Rheeda Walker
In John 5:6, Jesus is having a conversation with a paralyzed man, and He asks him a question that may seem strange, he asks him if he wants to be healed. Or in the antiquated tongue of King James, “Wilt thou be made whole?” And the text explains that Jesus realized that man had been there for a long time. The Bible says he had been there for thirty-eight years! Here we have this man, literally right at the precipice of taking hold of what he needs to get well, and yet he goes on to suffer for thirty-eight years. And what is the man’s response to Jesus’ question? He begins to explain to Jesus, JESUS, why it is impossible for him to be healed. “The sick man does what we nearly all do. He limits God’s help to his own ideas and does not dare promise himself more than he conceives in his mind. (Calvin)”
Sis, let’s stop limiting what God can do by refusing His provision for our healing. Let’s decide to get out of our own way by trying to solve our mental health challenges in our own strength. Our faith is essential to helping us get whole, it doesn’t have to be yet another barrier to overcome so we can get free.
READ/WATCH/LISTEN/WALK IT OUT
Read “Why Ebony Butler Created the First Therapy Deck Specifically for Women of Color” at allure.com.
Read “Why Black people are turning to gardening during difficult times” at palmbeachpost.com.
Read “CURLFEST Founders Speak On Merging Black Joy & Black Lives Matter” at forbes.com.
Walk it out with this 3-day Bible plan, “Anxiety & Depression: Finding Hope With Michelle Williams” in the YouVersion Bible app.
Walk it out and listen to 800+ meditations created by Black women in the Shine app. There is a free and premium version but the goldmine, Black Mental Health meditations will cost you nothing but time.
Watch Erica Mason - Ain't Worried ft Norman Michael video on YouTube and see how we can be liberated to express our faith outside of what others consider conventional norms and because I love Christian rap!
Listen to this week’s playlist “All Is Well with My Soul” in the Spotify app.
Wow! I'm only halfway through this and it is so good and spot on!